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Stumble It!
Oh just get over it!
By Administrator | May 15, 2008
I have on the odd occasion looked with distain at those who sat in their misery the poor me types victim mentally oozing from their pores. My judgments would come thick and fast assumptions would leap forth landing without proof upon the head of the unfortunate soul in front of me.
Ahhh how quickly the tide turns and the face in the street becomes the face in the mirror. So now I have become the wounded warrior giving up my seat as the booing bystander the view is sure different from over here.
You suddenly have multiple personalities the Martyr willing to let go and pretend nothing happened, the victim wanting someone to pay for this wrong, the child confused and fearful. It is like emotional Russian roulette you never know what is going to happen if you are triggered.
And somewhere someone is say “Oh just get over it”.
Forgive and let live, let go and move on, yeah right.
I am not one person but three the child the adult the parent we each have different views on what needs to be done. The child wants revenge wants the pain to be acknowldged, the adult knows this may never happen so asks to live in the now, the parent reminds me of all the things I could have done better and how it is probably all my fault.
Forgiveness it may come but not yet not before the grieving. Grieving for what you might ask? I grieve for childhood castles in the sky things that might have been if only….I grieve for lost opportunities, I grieve for a life imagined in a thousand moments a life which in truth was only an illusion.
Life however doesn’t stop for me the world revolves time marches on and people get on with doing what they have to do. There may never be a ‘fair’ outcome I might never hear the words that will make it all better. Those who I perceived as having sinned against me will probably get on with their lives and not give me another thought. So who then is hurting me the most?
The wounded warrior has unknowingly become the heckling spectator but the crowd has disappeared and there is no trophy to fight for
And life goes on……
Topics: Healing | No Comments »
Deal or no Deal a lesson in human nature
By Robin J | May 5, 2008
Okay I admit there may have been the odd occasion when I might have accidently turned over to the program Deal or no Deal. And I may have sat a bit longer than anticipated I might even have sat through the whole thing but in my defense it was purely for research purposes.
I know it is vastly different for the contestants than it is for me sitting on the sofa wishing touched by an Angel was still being made. But isn’t it interesting how the pursuit of happiness seems to be interwoven into the pursuit of the fast buck.
People aren’t happy with the small dream they want the added extras and when their dreams come crashing down after they succumb to a few deadly sins (namely greed and envy)they brush it off no biggie.
So what if we got to the pearly gates and Peter was there with a set of 23 angels holding suitcases?
“One of those cases holds the key to get into heaven” he might tell us. Wow wouldn’t that be something. But then isn’t that the premise of the whole Deal or no Deal one suitcase will get you what you think is heaven on Earth. A new house,car or a trip around the world. It’s the perfect example of what we call ‘hope’.
Most people think hope is this great spiritual concept and if you hold onto it wonderful things will happen. The ‘I hope I will win lotto mentality’ is running rampant as economies tumble.
Hope isn’t the same as faith….faith will give you the courage to step forward and create dreams. Hope keeps you in a wish upon a star mode I don’t really believe it will happen but I hope it does.
Maybe God Creator Goddess whoever you look to is running their own version of Deal or no Deal. And we in our ignorance not knowing what true abundance is go no deal wanting more wanting the illusion the mythical dream the big house car trips. And what if you got to the end through all of the suitcases the Angels were holding and opened that last remaining one believing it held all of your dreams.
And when you looked within it there was simply a mirror would you be tempted to go “No Deal”.
Think about it…..
Topics: Contemplations | No Comments »
Amazing Grace how sweet it is
By Robin J | April 29, 2008
Walking with grace and dignity it is my new catchphrase my latest affirmation my purpose in life. Not easy though this grace thing not easy at all. For instance if one member of your family is dishing the dirt on another member of your family oh so easy would it be (especially if you disliked this person) to jump right in there and start tearing off limbs so to speak. Much harder to take the high road and disengage from the conversation.
So what is this thing called grace? I am no expert but I have met some people I believe walk with grace. They are the ones who do not pass judgment but listen with objectivity and compassion. They are not people we put on pedastals but everyday souls touching lives in small yet profound ways.
When you are in their prescence the world becomes a more peaceful place and you walk away believing anything is possible. They are a light of hope and a voice of encouragement. They have no need to impress or be impressed. They walk through life with an aura of gentleness and quiet.
To walk with grace and dignity to let go of envy and jealousy to discard judgment. To seek to heal rather than wound. To find solutions rather than fault. Ahhh if it was all that easy….
Topics: Contemplations | No Comments »
Matrix a reality
By Robin J | April 21, 2008
We are a generation plugged in and tuned out don’t believe me then tell me what is your child doing right now? Chances are they will be text messaging on their mobile phone or chatting away on their computer while plugged in to an Ipod. And don’t for a moment think Youth have a monopoly or get lulled into thinking it’s only the upwardly mobile who tune out of the world.
I am sure one day in the operating room we will hear the words “I know you cannot save my leg Doctor but whatever you do don’t let the batteries run out on my blackberry”. I may not possess great intellectual wisdom but I am smart enough to know if you are texting on your mobile phone,plugged into an Ipod or getting the lastest Hockey scores on your blackberry then you ain’t listening to me.
There will come a time when people will forget they have one of those blue chip phone things stuck in their ear and the skin will grow over and they will become the next generation of mutants or worst still walking zombies.
Okay a slight exaggeration but I think we have forgotten the greatest need we have as humans is the need to be heard. And you know what I don’t feel heard when you answer your mobile phone in the middle of our dinner date. I don’t feel my time is valued when you are text messaging in the middle of the movie and I don’t feel connected when you are plugged in and tuned out.
We have squandered the gifts of touch,taste,smell and so on. No longer do we anticipate the scent of aftershave or perfume or the lingering touch. Now we get excited by the vibrating phone in our pocket the flashing mindless words “You have one new message”.
Maybe I am old or maybe people are simply afraid to stand in this world unplugged naked of the technology that makes them appear more important than the next person. Maybe people are too self absorbed in their own worlds to recognize they are not alone in this journey.
The only thing I know for sure is there will come a day for every person on this planet when they will need someone to listen. Maybe only then when confronted with a ringing phone, a vibrating blackberry or a turned up Ipod maybe only then will they ‘GET’ it.
Topics: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Just who the hell do you think you are?
By Robin J | April 19, 2008
Every now and then someone catches me unprepared and throws a curve ball my way. Take the other day for instance I was busy expanding upon this great idea for a workshop all about finding yourself when this wonderful woman asked me “How do you find yourself when you have no idea who you are looking for?”
Wow it had never been put to me that way before I was blind sided and a little embarassed by the pause between the question and my answer. But she was completely right how can you find something that never existed or did it? Maybe as the Guru’s say it is not so much that we do not know who we are but simply that we have allowed life to cause us to forget. Maybe we get so caught up in being everything to everyone else we forget to simply be.
I do believe however we are not one thing but many. That our greatness is not a singular event but a lifetime of moments which bring us increasingly closer to our greatest truth that of our mortality. Maybe perhaps the workshop should be one of accepting who you are and where you are right now. Maybe instead of the world asking me “Who the hell do you think you are?” I should be telling myself that in this moment as in the next to follow and the one after that “I am enough”. just as I am.
Maybe if our children were given the message they are enough instead of pressured into finding themselves at such an early age we would not be seeing suicides, eating disorders and voilent behavior. Just maybe it is less important to find out who I am than it is to accept who I am. Think about it….
Topics: The Last Word | 1 Comment »
Wax on wax off
By Robin J | April 17, 2008
I thought I knew everything there was to know about myself and my world I was wrong. Like the song goes I was blind but now I can see. On a recent journey I discovered how many layers there were to who I was and how much my history was interwoven into this ’self’ I had constructed.
But the ironic thing is when that identity fell apart when illusions were shattered and truths revealed it was not at all as I expected.
I spent years protecting this ’self’ image, pushing away anything which threatened to destroy it and holding on tightly to the one constant in my life who I was as defined by the people in my life and my experiences thus far.
Yet when it all crumbled when my identity as I knew it ceased to exist it was a revelation. Why because it gave me such a sense of freedom. There was nothing left to protect,hold onto or identify with so nothing seemed as important anymore I could let go. God what a relief! After spending all that emotional energy being Robin now I could simply be.
I didn’t need to be anything to anyone didn’t need to worry about what people thought their opinions of me. All the expectations fell away. I was not a future yet to be or a past long gone the only moment was the one I was in.
Maybe its true
I am therefore I need be nothing more
Topics: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Waking up to life’s reality
By Robin J | April 9, 2008
Reality isn’t really reality it’s a belief of what we believe to be true in any given moment. I can look back at my childhood and see a reality based on the mindset and beliefs of a 15 year old teenager. I adopted the reality lived it then one day I came across another reality of the very same moment I had experienced way back then. It changed my reality into illusion. While this may sound confusing it is really very simple.
When I was 15 certain events occurred which had various consequences. Had these events been filmed and preserved anyone watching them today would have seen the same series of actions as someone watching them back in the 70’s. The difference is in how each person would have interpreted the events as they saw them.
The teenager interpreted the events in a way which would protect their fantasy of being loved and cared for by a parent. This is often what we do, ironic as it is….we create an illusion which becomes our reality. Families dealing with alcoholics do it, addicts themself do it we all do it in some form or another. We do it when certain actions or events cause us pain or when we do not want to face the imperfections of people we have placed on pedastals.
I am sure you have all encountered such illusions the perfect couple who seem to have it all but are living a completely different reality behind close doors. The abused child who grows up excusing the behavior of the adult because adults are meant to love and protect you. There are all types of realities which have their foundation in illusions.
But here is the paradox even if you construct a reality which is based on illusions it is still your reality in the moment. While my interpretation of events as a 15 year old may have been tinted by my heart and my emotions it was still a valid reality at the time. That is it was real to me.
Which is where I think therapy falls short at times. While recognizing the illusion may bring forth awareness it is validating the reality of the 15 year old which will begin the healing. Something to ponder.
Robin J
Topics: Contemplations | No Comments »
Wake up and hear our young people
By Robin J | March 16, 2008
We do not give our youth enough credit we do not give them the respect they deserve nor do we truly understand their concerns. We have a misconception they are thinking about video games,sex or other trivial matters. Ironically they are probably more concerned about society the world they are to inherit than we are.
I for one have greatly underestimated how deeply the issues of the world are effecting our younger generation. Gay youth in particular are struggling with the question of faith and sexuality it makes you wonder whether as a society we are merely imposing an outdated and irrelevant belief system onto a todays youth.
Maybe they do not want to be like us over worked underpaid struggling through life only to reach the end with a pocketful of regrets and who could blame them.
The ‘I did it and whats makes you so special you don’t have to’ mentality is not working.
Fact is we are jealous of a generation who doesn’t give a damn about the gold watch at the end of 50 years service. We envy their determination to do something they love they are passionate about. We long to have such courage to dare to dream. But instead of encouaging them we are trying to conform them because why the hell should they be able to do all the things we didn’t.
It is ironic as we get older we long for the spirit of youth ironic because we try so hard to take the very things we long for away from those who have them.
Wake up and listen to our young people its their future they should have a say in how it is created.
Robin J
Topics: Contemplations | No Comments »
Mirror of self reflection
By Robin J | March 12, 2008
If every person you meet is a mirror of self reflection….what lessons and gifts have the people in your life given you today?
Topics: Uncategorized | No Comments »
Building bridges
By Robin J | March 7, 2008
Bridges are remarkable things they create a way to shift from one side to another. They have to be flexible enough to shift with changing in the environment yet strong enough to support those who travel upon them. We build them because we want to get to where you are and see things from where you are standing.
In life in relationships in our interactions with others we are consistently challenged to build our own bridges. Some of us resist insisting the only view we wish to see is the one on our side. Sometimes we forget to put another lane on the bridge and erect a sign one way only.
Sometimes however you have to have a readiness to travel to unknown places to build a bridge that is flexible constructed with humility and a willingness to let go of all beliefs.
Bridges take us to the other side so we can see things from anothers position. They allow thoughts and opinions to flow freely from one side to the other.
Robin J
Topics: Contemplations | 1 Comment »
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